Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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