I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
