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• (773): View more from Illinois

  My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  didn't stop?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  naw, they were rude, not me.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?

  (940): View more from Texas

  I worry about you.

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• (510): View more from California

  I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?

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• (760): View more from California

  I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Only thing exciting about him was his dick.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome

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• (206): View more from Washington

  we f'd six times

  (425): View more from Washington

  f'd?

  (206): View more from Washington

  its sunday, i cant say fucked

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.

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