So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This house was built for laser tag.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
