forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
