I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
