I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
