brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
