Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Found your dick twin last night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Drake has all the answers
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
