I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
