Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wear drunk well.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
