I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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