Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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