There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize