if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Randomize
