Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
