thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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