I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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