her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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