Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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