I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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