As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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