the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
