i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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