Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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