my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
