The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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