Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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