I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
