i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
