Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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