Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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