They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize