I need help removing her.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
