Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
