Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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