Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
