I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
