Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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