Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize