It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
where are my eyebrows?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
