her vagine was all disorganized.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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