On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
