my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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