Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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