god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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