nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
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She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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