Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
