I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
