90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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