just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
