Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
