My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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