Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize