If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Quick, to the slutcave!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
