At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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