why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
