Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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